


I Must Have Done Something Right

by failwolfhale



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Daddy!Derek, Gen, NaNoWriMo, Slow build Sterek, but also canon divergent, i mean really slow, slightly canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/failwolfhale/pseuds/failwolfhale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>“Hello, you’ve reached Juliana Renaldi. I’m unable to come to the phone at the moment but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible."</em> A beep sounded over the line and then it was quiet.</p><p>“Juliana, this is Derek. There’s a key to our Manhattan apartment in the pocket of Mila’s diaper bag. Take whatever you need from the house. It’s going to take me a bit longer than I thought. I’ll send money for Mila and I’ll transfer my truck’s title to you so you can sell it. Laura’s been murdered and I need to find out who did it. I’ll call back later. Tell Mila I love her and I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” Derek hung up and pressed his forehead against the rickety railing of his charred childhood home, a dry sob wrenching from his chest before he could stop it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StealthLiberal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StealthLiberal/gifts).



> _To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night._

“Laura, this is ridiculous,” Derek hissed, keeping his voice pitched low so as not to wake the sleeping child on the couch a few feet away. 

“I don’t want to hear it, Derek. I have to go back,” Laura responded calmly, flicking chestnut hair over her shoulder and then continuing to fold up her favorite sweater that had belonged to their mother. “I can’t explain it but it’s kind of like how mom used to say she could tell when one of us was hurt or sick cuz she felt a tug in her gut.” They both flinched slightly at the memory. “I think it’s an alpha thing probably. I have to make sure my pack is safe.” 

“ _We’re_ your pack!” Derek growled petulantly, motioning towards the child beside him. But Laura didn’t even flinch, already used to her baby brother’s short temper. 

“Of course you’re my pack, Derek. But so is Uncle Peter. I just have this feeling like something is wrong and he needs me. We haven’t been to see him in over a year. I just...maybe it’s just me feeling guilty but I need to see him okay?” she continued on, giving Derek a stern but searching look, wanting his approval but also standing her ground to show she would leave without it anyways. 

Derek sighed and sat down on the couch, settling a large protective hand on the little girl’s back where he could feel her heart beat and the rise and fall of her chest while she breathed. “At least let me come with you,” he tried, but Laura was already shaking her head 

“No way, little brother. I know what that town does to you, okay? You barely made it out of there when we went to visit Peter for a couple days the last time. Besides, you need to stay here with Mila. She’s teething again and the Renaldi Pack refuses to keep her while she’s teething because of what happened the last time,” Laura countered with a smirk, folding a pair of jeans and shoving them into her bag before zipping it all up. 

“The kid was fine. She barely broke skin and he was like fifteen. He should suck it up,” Derek huffed out indignantly, a little louder than he’d meant to. The sleeping baby fussed softly and gave a jolt at the sudden noise but she settled back down and Derek relaxed when she didn’t wake. 

“Even so,” Laura continued when Mila’s heartbeat evened out and she settled. “They won’t keep her and until we know more about what’s going on back in Beacon Hills I just don’t think that it would be a good idea to bring her along with us, Derek.” 

Derek slumped against the pillows in defeat, knowing that she was right, and sighed. He looked up at his big sister with wide eyes. “Fine. Just...just promise that you’ll come home as soon as you can, alright?” he begged, ocean eyes wide and vulnerable. 

Laura’s expression softened and she moved to sit next to Derek, tugging him into her side. Derek curled up against her like he’d done when they were young and she was still bigger than him. As it was he had a good ten and a half inches on her height wise and about a ninety pounds of muscle, but she still tucked his head against her neck and scratched fingers through his hair like he was a child with a nightmare. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll always come back to you guys. It shouldn’t take me more than a few days, alright?” she promised quietly, her heartbeat steady with the truth that Derek would never again take for granted. 

“Okay,” he whispered back quietly, staying there against his sister’s warm body with a hand still resting on his baby daughter’s back. 

++

Derek hung up the phone with Laura after talking to her for a about half an hour. Mila had fallen asleep on his chest while he sat on the couch and he looked down at her, running a hand down her back tenderly and kissing her curls. After a moment he stood up and carried her upstairs, putting her into her crib and tucking her favorite stuffed ocelot under her arm. He paused a moment, trailing his finger over her cheek tenderly before padding out of the room on socked feet. 

Laura had called every night since she left to check in, to talk to Derek and Mila and see how they were doing. Mila had babbled at Laura, telling her all about her trip to the park with Derek. Derek had made sure Laura was staying safe and careful, keeping an ear out for any word on the Argents. Last that they had heard though, the Argents were on a hunt in Northern Canada so Derek wasn’t too worried. Usually there was always word passed on amongst the packs to large Hunter Clan whereabouts so that they could be on best behavior. She had just gotten to Beacon Hills but it was past visiting hours and she was exhausted anyways so she was going to stay at a small motel near the hospital and go in the morning. Derek had told her to be careful and to stay safe and she promised to be home before they had hung up.

Derek went to make sure that the front door was completely locked, turned out the lights, and went to his bedroom to get ready for bed. He plugged his phone in on his nightstand and then crawled into bed, exhausted from his long day and the emotional stress he was putting himself through worrying about Laura. He drifted off into a restless sleep, shifting unhappily around in his bed as nightmares plagued his mind of his burning house and the putrid scent of burning flesh in his nose, smoke coating his lungs.

Derek woke up in the middle of the night on Laura’s fifth night gone to a sharp pain shooting through his chest at the same time that Mila let out a heart wrenching wail. Derek’s first though was that something was wrong with his daughter but as he burst into her nursery and saw that she was fine, the pain didn’t let up and he just _knew_ that it was Laura. He lifted Mila from her crib and cradled her against his chest while he went back to gather up his phone from where he’d plugged it in, hoping that she wasn’t feeling the same sharp pains that he was or at least that they were a bit duller.

He called Laura and called her again each time that he got her voicemail. He left at least eighteen messages and three times as many texts, flashing his eyes at himself in the mirror just to make sure they were still blue and not red. The only thing that showed him though was that it wasn’t a human or natural death that had (potentially) taken his sister. For all he knew she was only _injured_ not- not anything worse. (He couldn't make himself think the word.) 

Finally around five forty in the morning he couldn’t take the waiting anymore. He packed a bag for himself and for Mila, bundling her up for the cold winter weather outside and locked up his and Laura’s apartment in Manhattan. He stopped by his landlord’s apartment and left two months’ worth of rent in his mailbox before heading out. 

“Derek? What is it?” Juliana Renaldi asked when she opened the door to Derek’s insistent knocking. Maybe he should’ve felt bad for waking her up before six thirty in the morning but his heart was racing and he’d never been more scared. 

“I need to you keep Mila for me, please,” he begged, swallowing thickly. “Something- I think something happened to Laura. She went back to California and I just, I know something’s wrong. Please, Juliana.” 

“Of course, sweetheart. How long will you be gone?” Juliana asked, already reaching out to take the diaper bag and backpack of children’s clothes from Derek’s arms. 

“I don’t know. A few days, maybe longer. I put some money in her bag for food and whatever else she needs. I’ll call you when I know what’s going on,” he answered, fidgeting and shifting nervously. The pain was still there in his chest but it was a bit duller and he wondered if it was any better for Mila. He hoped it was. She was too young to feel that sort of pain. 

“Okay, alright. Why don’t you calm down and come inside?” Juliana suggested, waving Derek into the warm house. He stepped inside and shook off the cold, Mila still bundled up in his arms. “Tell me why you think something is wrong with your sister. Did she call you or did something happen?” 

“No, just. I woke up to this pain in my chest like I’d never felt before and Mila was crying but when I checked on her she was fine. I tried to get a hold of Laura but she didn’t answer any of my calls or texts. I just had this gut feeling like something wasn’t _right_. I thought maybe it was the Argents again but they’ve got no reason to be back in Beacon Hills. There haven’t been werewolves in the area since Laura and I left three and a half years ago. We made sure of it. And my eyes were still blue when I flashed them but that only means that it wasn’t humans who’ve- who’ve-” He couldn’t finish the sentence, knowing if he said it out loud it would make it all too real. 

Juliana had a worried look on her face that took the place of her usually calm and collected demeanor and that made Derek’s chest tighten because if Juliana was nervous then Derek should be too. “Okay, take a deep breath. But I think you’re right. You’d better go check on things. I’ll arrange flight plans for you.” 

Emilio, Juliana’s human husband, came down the stairs then, groggy and yawning but he smiled when he saw Derek and Mila. Derek knew better than to go after Juliana and argue with her but being on a plane for several hours would be next to excruciating for him. He knew rationally that taking a plane would be quicker than driving and that since Laura had taken the Camaro, Derek’s rusty old Chevy truck probably wouldn’t survive the long drive to California. But at least if he was driving he would feel like he was actively doing something instead of just sitting around waiting while the dread built up in his chest. 

Emilio’s mother, Aida, lived in the house and she was already in the kitchen making breakfast when Derek followed Juliana through. Juliana disappeared into the study however and Derek was left to let Emilio and Aida fill his and Mila’s stomachs. Derek and Mila both ate a bowl of homemade oatmeal with sliced gala apples though it didn’t seem to sit right in Derek’s stomach. He wasn’t about to go turning it down though when they were being such gracious hosts; they may be family friends but there was still such a thing as pack politics.

Less than an hour later, a piece of paper with directions to a private airfield along with a personally written note to the pilot from Juliana were being pushed into Derek’s palm. He hugged his daughter tightly and she clung right back, sniffling against his neck. Derek buried his nose in her soft blonde curls and inhaled her clean baby scent, kissing her forehead. 

“I love you, baby. I promise I’ll be back soon, okay?” he whispered to her, hugging her one more time before handing her off to Aida who cradled her gently. 

Juliana hugged Derek briefly, always having been fond of him - she’d been very good friends with his mother while she was still alive - and then sent him off. Derek drove away with a heaviness in his heart, hating to leave his daughter behind like a giant chunk of his heart. But he steeled his resolve and headed to California to find his sister. 

++

 _“Hello, you’ve reached Juliana Renaldi. I’m unable to come to the phone at the moment but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible."_ A beep sounded over the line and then it was quiet.

“Juliana, this is Derek. There’s a key to our Manhattan apartment in the pocket of Mila’s diaper bag. Take whatever you need from the house. It’s going to take me a bit longer than I thought. I’ll send money for Mila and I’ll transfer my truck’s title to you so you can sell it. Laura’s been murdered and I need to find out who did it. I’ll call back later. Tell Mila I love her and I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay?” Derek hung up and pressed his forehead against the rickety railing of his charred childhood home, a dry sob wrenching from his chest before he could stop it. 

But all too soon he was pulled out of his thoughts by the far off sound of leaves rustling and two pairs of feet moving over the land, the low chatter of teenagers reaching him a moment later. He took a deep breath and collected himself, looking down at the inhaler he’d found near Laura’s body before going to meet whoever seemed to be looking for it. He would need to keep people as far away from his land as possible if he was going to find his sister’s killer. Whoever had killed Laura for her Alpha status probably wasn’t above biting a few innocents for his or her pack. This had disaster written all over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a bit of explanation is in order. 
> 
> Basically this 'verse is mostly the same as the show except Derek has a daughter who's two and a half. The timeline is slightly different in that the Hale house fire happened just over three years ago instead of ten and Derek doesn't know who Mila's mother is (he was promiscuous ;)). The next chapter will start after Season Three when Derek comes back. Jeff revealed that the reason Derek and Cora left was because they were going to retrieve something very important. Well in this 'verse, that something important is Mila. Everything that happened in canon is true here, except Boyd and Erica didn't die (because no) and Derek has a daughter who he keeps secret - only the three betas and Cora know about her. I can't decide if Derek will still be an Alpha or not (I'm thinking not, at least for the time being until I can figure out how to make him an Alpha again; Alpha!Derek is hot, lets be honest). This will explain some of why Derek is so grumpy - because during the whole series he's getting picture texts and phone calls from his daughter who's growing up so quickly and he's missing it all. 
> 
> This story is unbeta'd and probably most of it will be since it's my Nano fic and I'll be writing as much as possible as quickly as possible and won't have time to edit. 
> 
> You can come find me on [tumblr](http://failwolfhale.tumblr.com) if you so wish; feel free to message me anytime with any ideas you have. I have a vague idea how this fic is going but ideas are ALWAYS welcome. 
> 
> Special thanks to my girl [Maggy](http://stealth-liberal.tumblr.com) who gave me the idea in the first place and let me run with it. And my wife/one of my best friends, [Juily](http://officerstilinskihale.tumblr.com%22), who pushed me to finish it and then read it over for me briefly. You guys are awesome. Keep pushing me into writing this. <33
> 
> Title taken from the song Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle :)


	2. Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is completely unbeta'd. Sorry for the wait, folks. :)

“So this kid,” Cora started as she stared out the window to see the sign welcoming them to ‘New York, the Empire State’. “She’s really yours? You didn’t just decide to be a white knight and adopt her?” 

Derek rolled his eyes at his younger sister and glanced over at her. “Yes, she’s really mine. Laura and I had a paternity test done,” he answered, shaking his head though the gesture was fond. 

Cora could see how much looser Derek was getting the closer they got to the city. He was turning back into the brother she used to know. Or at least more like the brother she had known. She knew that the fire had obviously changed him just as it had her. But he was so completely different when she’d found him in Beacon Hills, or rather when he’d found her. He was angry, withdrawn, impulsive, secretive. The brother she’d known had never been any of those things. He was sort of a loner, sure, enjoying his space. But he was also kind and smiled at everyone, helping Cora and Emmy with their homework and chasing Elliot around in the yard while they practiced for baseball. She had been surprised to be the least when Derek told her about Mila, only after they’d driven out of California. But it made sense, made her understand him just a little bit better. Derek was never any of those things and still wasn’t. He had just responded badly to being apart from his daughter. He was missing her, missing out on her growing up, missing her birthday and Christmas and Thanksgiving. It wasn’t an excuse for the things he’d done but it was a reason, an explanation. She could understand that. 

“Tell me about her? About Mila,” Cora requested, looking away from the window to gaze at her brother curiously. She didn’t ask about Laura anymore after she’d done so once and a dark haunted look took over his face while he muttered something about it being his fault and then didn’t speak for two hours. So she doesn’t ask about Laura anymore. At least not yet. It had only been a few months and while Cora had long ago reconciled herself with losing everyone, Derek hadn’t reconciled losing Laura. Especially not when it was their uncle who’d taken her. 

A soft smile came over Derek’s face and his features softened significantly. “She’s three and she’s- she’s the best thing in my life. You both are,” he said, cutting a brief gentle glance over to Cora that she hadn’t seen since they were children and then he refocused on the road. “She’s got an incredible laugh that’s contagious. Once uh, Laura wanted to go to dinner just the two of us and we took Mila to stay with Juliana for the evening. Well, Mila hates baby talk. She wants to be spoken to like a grown up. Juliana’s nephew, Andrew, was over at the house, fifteen year old kid. And he made the mistake of baby talking her. She was teething and would bite anything in reach and he had already upset her so she just bit down on his shoulder. He bled and cried a little, as I understood it.” He finished with a smug, proud smile remembering his little baby girl making a teenage werewolf cry. 

Cora let out a surprised laugh and grinned over at Derek widely. “Oh I like her already,” she said with a smirk, enjoying this version of warm happy fatherly Derek who was sitting beside her just then. 

They took turns switching the radio station - Derek leaning more towards classic rock while Cora liked to listen to whatever mainstream station she could find. The New York countryside flew past the window and Cora settled into the front seat of the Toyota, eyes fluttering closed. The last thing she remembered before dozing off was Derek humming under his breath to a Taylor Swift song. She would have to give him grief for that later. 

++

“Cora,” Derek said, gently shaking his sister after shutting off the car’s engine. The large beautiful home just outside of New York City sat in front of the car, snow covering the front yard and trees bare. The house was warm though, painted a pretty shade of blue with the windows illuminated, the deep twilight casting the scene in shades of violet. “We’re here.”

Cora blinked open dazedly and Derek smiled at her, feeling the tug in his gut that told him Mila was nearby. He didn’t need to be an alpha to know when he was close to her. “Okay, I’m coming,” she mumbled, letting out a yawn and stumbling out of the car. 

Derek got out of the car as well and had just locked it when the front door opened and warm yellow light haloed Juliana, spilling into the yard while a tiny blur skipped out from behind her legs. Derek’s breath stopped and then he surged forward, meeting Mila halfway in the yard and falling to his knees as he pulled her against his body. She fisted tiny hands into his hair and they spent a few long quiet moments just nuzzling in against each other. Mila didn’t smell like him anymore and it wasn’t right. She was _his_. She needed to smell like him more than anyone else. “I missed you so much, baby girl,” he gasped out, happy tears leaking from his eyes as he buried his face against her neck and shoulder. 

Mila sniffled and ran her nose against his cheek. “I missed you, too, Papa,” she said, pulling back just enough to press the side of her face against Derek’s. He could feel the little flutter of her eyelashes on his cheek and he smiled into her hair. She was giving him butterfly kisses just like they did every night before bed. 

“I want you to meet someone, princess,” Derek said, lifting her up into the air and setting her on his hip. Even at three she was a little small for her age and weight practically nothing. Aida liked to say she had bird bones. 

Cora was leaning against the hood of the Cruiser, watching the scene with a gentle expression. She stood up straighter when Derek approached though and gave a little smile to Mila who had her head tilted against Derek’s neck. “Hey there, sweetie,” Cora greeted warmly, not moving forward just yet since the younger girl looked shy.

“Mila, this is my sister. She’s your aunt Cora,” Derek told her and Mila blinked her big ocean eyes at Cora, lashes brushing her cheek. 

Mila didn’t say anything for a moment but then she lifted a hand and wiggled her fingers in a tiny wave, lips tilting up at the corners. “Hi,” she said in a soft soprano voice that went well her rosy cheeks, bambi eyes, and honey blonde curls. 

Cora took a deep breath, amazed at the beautiful little girl who was obviously Derek’s - it was there in her eyes and the shape of her nose, even in the curve of her cheeks though they were still plump with baby fat. 

“Why don’t you all come inside?” Juliana called from the porch, wrapping a thick wool sweater tighter around her shoulders. 

Derek tightened his hold on Mila but Mila didn’t seem to mind it much, clinging to him like she was afraid he would leave her again. He wrapped an arm around Cora’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to Mila’s head, feeling whole and _okay_ again for the first time in nearly a year as they headed into the warmth of the Reinaldi household. 

++

Derek sat at the edge of Mila’s bed that night while she slept, his large hand resting against her tiny back, just as wide as from the tip of his thumb to his pinkie. The last time Derek had gotten to tuck her in she was still sleeping in a crib and now she was in a toddler bed - just another of the stepping stones that he hadn’t been there for. Silently he made a promise never to miss another holiday in Mila’s life. Not ever.

He let out a huge yawn, exhausted and drained from the long day of travel and then seeing his daughter again after so long. It had taken a toll on him but he didn’t want to leave Mila, didn’t want to let her out of his sight. 

“You should sleep,” Cora said quietly and Derek startled, not having heard her approach. He glanced over to see that she was in a pair of loose sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt that was slipping off one shoulder; her hair wet from a shower and feet clad only in a pair of fuzzy purple socks. She looked comfortable, casual, _safe_.

“I will,” Derek answered, rubbing a hand down his face and sighing as he looked back at Mila. “I don’t want to leave her though.” 

Derek heard her pad quietly into the room and sit beside him, hooking her chin over his shoulder and curling her arm around his own. Derek was more comfortable here, she had found, more tactile, and she could ask for the physical comfort she had been craving and deprived from for so long. “She’s really great, Derek,” she whispered, both of them staring down at the sleeping child who didn’t so much as twitch in her sleep. 

“Yea,” Derek agreed on a soft sigh, smiling as he trailed fingers down Mila’s cheek and then leaned a little closer to Cora. “I’m glad you got to meet her.” 

“Me too,” Cora murmured back and they lapsed into silence for a long few minutes. Wind blew gently outside and snow flurries fell to the ground, coating everything in blankets of white. After a moment Cora spoke. “So what do we do now? Stay here? Find a new place? Move somewhere else?” 

Derek shook his head and glanced back over at Cora. “I’m going back to Beacon Hills. I need to get the house back from the county so I can rebuild it,” he answered, gazing down at her. 

She widened her brown eyes and the pulled away slightly so she could look at him better. “Seriously? You want to go back there? After everything that’s happened?” she asked incredulously and watched as Derek nodded slowly. 

“I- Beacon Hills is our home. For so long Laura and I ran and ran and ran some more. We settled in New York and I got Mila and we just...stayed. We settled down because we had the Reinaldi’s protection and we didn’t want to put Mila in harm’s way by moving her around so much. I didn’t want that for her,” Derek explained as quietly as he could so as not to wake his daughter. “But it was never _home_. New York has never _been_ home for me, Cora. If we go back to Beacon Hills we can make it our home again. I’ve- I’ve got pack there.” 

“Boyd, Erica, and Isaac,” Cora repeated with a slow nod, thinking of Boyd who had been her friend in that vault for months until they were released. She missed him a lot if she was being honest. Derek nodded and Cora took a deep breath, peering up at him through her lashes. “Okay. I’ll go with you.” 

Derek smiled at her; a real smile that made his eyes crinkle and dimples pop in his cheeks. He still looked worn out and exhausted, a little skinnier than he had been when they were first reunited. His cheekbones were more prominent and he didn’t mess with hair gel anymore, letting it fall flat. He looked different now but also familiar, more like the Derek she knew before the fire. She liked that Derek and this Derek. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, burying her face against his shoulder. 

“I- I love you, Derek,” she whispered, the first time she’d told him or anyone those words since the fire. She could hear Derek’s breath catch and his heart stutter and then he was wrapping her up in his arms and nuzzling her hair like he used to when they were children, scent marking each other like their parents did to them. 

“I love you too,” Derek agreed with a nod, remembering all the times he’d made sure to say those three words to Laura just in case, so that she would know. He couldn’t take that for granted anymore, especially not the little family that he had left. “I love you too, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please feel free to point out any spelling, grammar, continuity, etc errors and I'll do my best to get back to them. 
> 
> Feel free to visit my [tumblr](http://failwolfhale.tumblr.com)!


	3. The World's Largest Cheeto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I'm trying to update when I can but things are crazy around here. Just got back from a long (it felt like it) road trip this weekend so I finally get to post this. 
> 
> Thank you especially to my anon who messaged me multiple times in an effort to motivate me. I love you immensely! Thank you! :D

“I have my GED,” Cora said out of nowhere as they drove through Illinois - it had been nothing but flat crop fields for miles. 

“Do you?” Derek asked, glancing over at her briefly. He was surprised but pleased she decided to share something with him about herself. 

“Yea. I was thinking about applying to colleges, you know. See what all this talk of higher education is about.” Derek saw her brush her dark hair from her face almost nervously, like she was actually worried about what Derek thought of the idea. 

“That would be good. I could help you, uh, if you wanted. I actually..I finished online courses and got a degree in history and I was pretty good at english. So, just... If you wanted,” he offered awkwardly, ever trying in his new quest to be a better big brother for her. 

Mila was slumbering away in her carseat in the back and Cora gave Derek a tiny smile, nodding her head. It would seem that for now, Derek had actually done something right. 

++

“Come on, just smile!” Cora urged and Derek glowered harder at her but Mila patted his cheek firmly. 

“‘mile, Papa,” Mila insisted with a giggle where she was perched on his hip. 

“I still can’t believe you made me drive so far out of the way to see the world’s largest Cheeto,” Derek complained but he shifted Mila up and gave a reluctant smile as Cora snapped a selfie of the three of them on her phone with the giant Cheeto (which wasn’t even that giant) in a glass case behind them like anyone would actually try to steal it. 

“It’s a giant Cheeto! What’s not to love, big brother? Besides, Mila loves it. Don’t you, sugarpie?” Cora said with a grin, tucking her phone into her pocket and taking Mila from Derek’s arms. 

Derek couldn’t help the small genuine smile on his face at the ease with which the two most important people in his life were getting along. Something inside of him settled and calmed down, a feeling of contentment seeping into his bones. 

“Okay, let’s get back on the road,” Cora said, squeezing Derek’s hand and carrying Mila back to the Toyota to strap her in. 

++

“Do you think I should get a job?” Derek asked out of nowhere, glancing over at Cora briefly. Mila was in the backseat singing about the trees and birds and dog-shaped clouds she saw. 

“Probably. I mean...it would at least put you a little more in the public eye and people would get used to seeing you around instead of avoiding you at all costs. It’d kinda show them that you’re a mostly normal guy just trying to provide for his little sister and baby daughter,” Cora answered after a moment of thoughtful consideration. “I could help you look when we get back to California. What are you good at?” 

Derek was quiet as he considered the question as if it were the biggest decision of his life. “I like school but I doubt anywhere would hire me as a teacher what with being arrested for murder and all,” he said with a huff, rolling his eyes as he remembered the two reasons back in California that he was even _arrested_ in the first place. “Plus I don’t like teenagers.”

“What about like...at the library then? That kind of seems like your place anyways; big and cool and quiet. You’d get to tell people to shut up all day and basically just be grumpy like you always are. Maybe Mila could get her library card for free then,” Cora suggested, half teasing but Derek made a small considering noise in the back of his throat, obviously considering it. 

“We can look around town once we get back,” Derek decided with a nod, the gently rolling hills of Wyoming rolling past as mountains grew steadily in the distance. 

++

“Okay, I admit it,” Cora moaned around a mouthful of her barbeque ribs, sauce smeared over her lips as she tried to lick it away messily. “This was the best decision for food you ever made. I will never diss this tiny little bodunk town or its cuisine ever again.” 

Derek chuckled as he reached over to wipe a bit of mustard from Mila’s forearm before she could get anymore of it on her tshirt. Derek was already fairly certain it wasn’t going to come out at this point. 

“Laura and I stopped here when we left and then the one time we came back to visit Peter,” he admitted, taking a bite of his sausage. He noticed the way Cora blinked at him but he was too busy remembering, a small smile on his face. “Mila was still a baby when we came to see Peter and she’d been crying since Elko and so Laura suggested stopping here at The Pig. Mila was maybe twenty months old but she stuffed her little mouth with all the curly fries she could, didn’t you, baby?” 

Mila just blinked at Derek happily from where she was gnawing on the remains of her corn dog, still sitting in her highchair and being surprisingly patient. Derek grabbed a napkin and wiped a little bit of mustard from the end of her hair while she grinned up at him with her tiny little white square baby teeth. 

“What was she like? After the fire I mean, what was Laura like?” Cora asked, very quietly. She didn’t want to upset Derek but Laura was her big sister too and while Cora had had more time to accept that she’d lost her family, it was still just as devastating. 

Derek swallowed thickly and blinked a few times, taking several deep lungfuls of air. “She was… she was strong, just like she always had been. The fire didn’t change her like it changed me, not exactly. She was still the person she’d always been just… tougher. She still was the most incredible person I knew. She stayed strong and kept moving when I felt like I couldn’t. I don’t know what I would have done without her, if she hadn’t been there to keep bullying me into leaving our apartment in New York during the days. I probably never would have gone outside.” 

Mila sniffled and Derek glanced over at her to see that her eyes had grown huge and watery, rimmed in red. “I m-miss Ra-ra,” she whimpered sadly and Derek frowned, glancing at Cora before smoothing a large hand over his daughter’s hair, kissing her forehead. 

“So do I, baby girl. But...do you remember when Mr. Sparkles died and he went to heaven to be with his family? Ra-ra went there too. She’s up there right now looking out for the both of us, okay?” he told Mila gently, trying to keep his voice smooth even though his throat felt thick. 

Mila sniffled again but nodded, grabbing onto Derek’s wrist and hugging his hand to her chest. “O’tay,” she whispered back, nodding her head. 

“Okay,” Derek repeated, glad that he’d avoided a crying episode. He glanced up to meet Cora’s gaze, both of them looking slightly relieved and then changing the subject.

++

“Do you feel that?” Derek asked quietly as they crossed the state line into California, a sharp tug emanating from just behind his sternum, making him incredibly uncomfortable. It almost felt like someone had anesthetized him and shoved a hook deep in his chest before they started pulling firmly; a sharp sort of pressure there.

Cora was rubbing her chest in the same spot, brow furrowed as she nodded. “Yea. It’s weird. I don’t like it,” she answered back seriously.

The closer they got to Beacon Hills though, the more and more the sharp tugging lessened. And by the time they had crossed the county line, it disappeared completely. Derek and Cora shared a significant look but didn’t say anything since Mila didn’t seem to have been affected. Derek thought (hoped) that whatever it was, Mila was too young to feel it. 

Ultimately they decided to find a place to crash for the night first before going to find anyone from the pack. Derek was uncertain as to whether or not his three bitten Betas would be able to feel his presence or not since he was no longer an alpha. 

As much as Beacon Hills had destroyed and taken away from him, he still couldn’t help but feel like he was finally _home_ again. Kept company with his little sister and his daughter, Derek felt more content in their little two-bed room at the only Days Inn that Beacon Hills had to offer that didn’t have bi-monthly reports of bedbugs or rodent problems. Not that Derek couldn’t handle a few rats but Cora refused. He would really need to find an apartment or small house soon, but for now this would have to do. 

++

“Are you sure this is such a good idea?” Cora asked calmly as she stood in front of the giant bathroom mirror and quietly french braided her hair, starting at the top of one side and working around and down the other side. “Crashing their pack meeting and all? I mean, don’t you think a courtesy call would be more than enough?” 

Derek shook his head though he didn’t look certain. Cora had noticed that he rarely ever looked certain anymore, no longer the self confident teenager he’d been before the fire. 

“No. They need to see that we’re back and that we’re not a threat. That Mila’s not a threat. It’s just...it’s politics,” he answered, kneeling on the ground as he buttoned up Mila’s coat, tugging it firmly around her and slipping on her little hat. She was beaming up at him with wide blue eyes, her lashes long and thick. Derek was in love with her eyes a little bit and just her in general. 

“Yea, but they’re all bitten wolves. What do they know about pack politics?” she pointed out even as she crossed the room to pull on her leather boots. “I’m just asking. I’ll go with you but it’s gonna be awkward as he- uh, heck.” She cast a glance towards Mila but Mila wasn’t paying attention, preferring to fiddle with the zipper on Derek’s leather jacket, drawing it up and down and giggling at the noise it made. 

“If Deaton has been helping them, they might have learned about it or Stiles would have googled it or gone to the library or something. They’re smarter than we’ve given them credit for. Just stop arguing okay? We’re going. End of discussion,” he said firmly, shooting her a stern older brother look. He may not be the alpha but he still outranked her. 

“Fine fine,” Cora surrendered, holding up her hands in a placating gesture before pulling on a warm looking dark plum colored peacoat. “Let’s go, big brother.” She pulled her scarf up around her ears and Derek made sure Mila’s hat covered her ears as well before they trooped out of the hotel and down to the car. 

++ 

Derek had heard about the meeting by accident when he was at the grocery store. Lydia had been there with Allison buying feminine things (apparently Always Infinity was the obvious choice, whatever that meant) and were talking in hushed tones about the planned gathering at Scott’s house that everyone was required to show up to - Allison, Lydia, Stiles, the Sheriff, Boyd, Isaac, Erica, Chris, Deaton and obviously Scott and Melissa as well. They were going to have lunch and discuss “the situation”. Derek didn’t know what that meant either but if something was going on in Beacon Hills beyond the natural then Derek needed to know about it. 

So he climbed the steps of Scott’s front porch and glanced at Cora, Mila insisting that she could walk but now clinging to the backs of Derek’s legs as she hid shyly. Cora nodded and Derek gave a short nod back before ringing the doorbell. The door opened after just a few seconds and Derek laid eyes on Erica for the first time in nearly two months.

“Derek,” she breathed out like she thought he was an apparition, her honey eyes wide. Then she grinned widely and stepped outside, tossing her arms around his shoulders to hug him tightly. 

Derek stumbled slightly from shock and stared at Cora with wide eyes over Erica’s shoulder but she just smirked. Derek hesitated before awkwardly hugging her back. He could do the whole...reunion thing or whatever. He could. 

“Jeez, you have no idea how glad I am to see you,” she said when she pulled away and she looked softer somehow, to Derek. She wasn’t so much tightly wound raw power, seeming to have ditched her post-werewolf wardrobe of low cut tops and tiny skirts. She was instead wearing a pair of tasteful but still tight dark jeans and a flattering red t-shirt that hugged her curves in all the right places while her hair was tied back in a loose braid. 

“I’m- yea. It’s uh, good to see you too,” he said awkwardly just as Isaac peeked around the corner with his mouth stuffed full of food. “Is Scott here? I need to speak with him.” 

“Sure, come in,” Erica answered, tossing Cora a small grin and wave. Erica spotted Mila at the same time Scott appeared in the foyer with the rest of the pack following but she didn’t have time to ask before Scott spoke.

“Derek,” Scott said, looking a bit perplexed but not unhappy about Derek’s reappearance. “Cora, hey. You’re back.” 

“We’re back,” Derek agreed with a polite nod, almost looking like it was painful to be treating Scott so politely even though Scott had more or less earned his respect. “I thought it would be best to tell you in person. And also, there’s another-” He took a deep breath and then glanced down, twisting slightly and resting a hand on top of Mila’s head. “C’mere, baby,” he murmured gently, bending down and lifting Mila onto his hip when she raised her arms for him to pick her up. He glanced back at Scott, trying to ignore the others’ looks of shock and confusion as Mila hid her face against Derek’s neck. “This is Mila, my daughter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, constructive criticism is always welcome! :D 
> 
> Come [tumble](http://failwolfhale.tumblr.com) with me!


	4. Explanations Are a Bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to just post this. I'm not too happy with it at the moment because it's a lot of dialogue and explanations and it's a bit shorter than the other chapters (only by a hundred words or so). But I'm tired of staring at it. I'm sick and exhausted and i have another one shot I need to write so I'll come back to this in a couple of days when I'm not sick of it anymore. In the mean time. I hope you guys enjoy this.
> 
> This is unbeta'd sorry. :e 
> 
> Also I know I didn't finish this before November ended and it was supposed to be my NaNo but it just didn't happen. I promise not to stop writing it though.

Derek sat perched at the edge of the McCall’s couch in the living room, Mila standing in socked feet on the cushion behind him and leaning on his back. The feeling of her heartbeat against his spine was the only thing keeping him calm, listening to the steady rhythm against her tiny ribs while she let her fingers dance over his shoulders. Cora was sitting beside him, tense and waiting while Scott sat in an armchair across from Derek. The rest of the pack were scattered about the living room; Melissa and the Sheriff hovering behind Scott, Stiles perched on the arm of the chair tensely, Erica on Derek’s other side smiling over at Mila, Boyd in the second armchair, Allison and Lydia in the loveseat, and Isaac on the floor with Lydia’s hand buried in his curls. The twins were the only ones not present because - Erica explained quickly - they weren’t considered part of the pack, just tentative allies. They were only brought in after the pack had made their plans and clued into only what they needed to know. 

“So you’re a dad. And you didn’t tell us because…?” Scott started after a few long moments of discomfort on everyone’s part besides Erica’s, who was happily playing with Mila and making her giggle and hide her face in Derek’s jacket. 

“It wasn’t necessary for you to know. The fewer people who knew, the better,” Derek answered, scrubbing a hand over his hair and sighing. “Not even Peter knew. Isaac, Erica, Boyd, and Cora are the only ones I told before leaving Beacon Hills.” 

“Who’s the mother? Is she going to come looking for trouble if she learns that you’re here with her?” Scott asked, his serious Alpha face on. Derek was a little proud of how much the kid had grown up in the last several months but it also made him feel sorry for the kid. 

“I don’t- uhm,” Derek frowned and glanced at Erica who nodded in understanding and stood up. 

“C’mere, sweetie. Why don’t we go into the kitchen? I’ll get you some milk and one of Melissa’s yummy cookies okay?” Erica coaxed, smiling widely at Mila. Mila glanced at Derek and then went with Erica when Derek gave a nod, letting Erica lift her up off the couch onto her hip. 

Once Erica and Mila were out of the room Derek took a deep breath. “I don’t know who her mother is. I was… after the fire, after the funerals, Laura and I moved to New York City and I was...promiscuous. I didn’t care who I went home with but I never took anyone to my home. I wouldn’t risk that again,” he said quietly and quickly, forcing it out. He could almost feel Stiles bristling beside Scott; Lydia and Scott were both frowning in something akin to sorrow or pity, Allison staring at her hands. “A few months after moving to New York, Mila was left at my apartment just with a note and her birth certificate. There was no name on the line for the mother but my name was listed as the father. We had paternity tests done and it was confirmed she was genetically mine but whoever her mother was, wasn’t in the system. It wasn’t hard to gain custody of Mila and Laura and I raised her. Or...started raising her. After Laura was- I came back here and left her with a friendly pack in upstate New York. They’ve offered their alliance should you allow Cora, Mila, and me a place here.” 

Cora was tense beside him and there was a long moment of quiet where Derek waited for a reply. He could hear their heartbeats, steady and honest across from him, until finally Scott huffed out a breath through his nose and stood up. 

“Of course there’s a place here for you guys,” Scott assured him without even consulting the others, he didn’t need to. He offered Derek a hand and Derek stood, sliding his into Scott’s. 

“Thank you,” he said earnestly with a nod back to Scott and then to the others. “I appreciate it. We all do.”

“We’ll work out the details later but for now,” Scott started and Melissa cut in with a little smile. 

“I have more than enough tamales and chili to feed the lot of you,” she offered and Derek shifted, glanced to Cora who hesitated but gave a little nod. 

“Thank you, we’d like that,” Derek accepted with a smile of his own, genuine and a little bit awkward. 

“Derek,” Sheriff Stilinski called, clearing his throat a bit and moving from his spot standing beside his son. “I wondered if I might have a word with you.” 

Derek tensed and his gaze flickered to Stiles who didn’t even look at him, too busy glaring at nothing to give any help at all as he and Melissa moved into the kitchen. Cora squeezed Derek’s arm and followed after them, going to find Mila. Derek nodded at the Sheriff and allowed him to lead the way onto the front porch. It was below freezing outside but Derek didn’t feel it as he moved to lean against the rail. 

The sheriff rubbed the back of his neck and then leveled Derek with a firm look, blue eyes steely. “I just wanted to say thank you,” he said and Derek blinked. That...that was not what he was expecting. 

“I’m...sorry?” he finally managed to get out, uncertain of where this was going. Maybe he was just luring Derek into a false sense of security before he put some bullets in his chest. If he was at the pack meeting he probably knew Derek would heal. Eventually. 

The sheriff huffed and gave Derek a put upon look. “After Allison and Isaac and my son saved us from underneath that...the nematon - I made Stiles sit down with me and tell me everything that’s been going on. They told me what you did for them, how you helped them. So thank you. My son probably wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you,” he said, looking uncomfortable that he had to explain what he was thanking Derek for. 

Derek shrugged and looked anywhere but at the Sheriff in front of him, shifting on his feet. “I just did what anyone would’ve done. I wasn’t going to leave them to fend for themselves,” he answered and the older man nodded. 

“Well, thank you. You’re a better man than I gave you credit for, Derek,” he said and offered his hand which Derek hesitated before taking.

“Thank you, sir,” Derek replied, meeting his gaze. 

“You can call me John now, Derek,” John sighed and rolled his shoulders before his stomach gave a ferocious growl. “I don’t know about you but I’m starving. Shall we?” 

Derek nodded and followed the Sheriff back into the house and while he could hear the chatter in the dining room of people talking and eating and laughing, he could also feel a bit of tension in the air and the soft sounds of an argument from the kitchen. He followed John closer and then through the door to find Stiles and Scott of all people arguing quietly with Stiles looking upset and disgruntled and just a little bit betrayed. 

“-just gonna let them waltz back in here?” Stiles was growling, not having heard Derek and John’s approach.

“Of course I am, Stiles. Don’t be an idiot we need them,” Scott insisted, trying to make his best friend understand. 

“And when he leaves again without telling us? We needed him _then_ ,” Stiles snapped and Derek had never seen him look so angry. Derek was also confused because it sounded like they were talking about _him_. Derek didn’t realize Stiles would’ve been upset he’d left. 

“He did tell us, Stiles!” Scott replied in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air and sighing like they’d had this conversation a thousand times before. 

John cleared his throat though and both boys turned to look at them. When Stiles saw Derek his eyes went hard and his shoulders came up almost defensively before focusing on his dad. “I’m going home. Not hungry. I have homework to do,” he grumbled out, pushing past Derek through the doorway and heading for the front door. 

Scott and the sheriff sighed and Derek just stood there, completely unsure of what had just happened there. He blinked and the two other men looked at him. Scott just sighed again and shrugged his shoulders, taking his plate of food into the dining room while smelling strongly of guilt. The sheriff looked at Derek speculatively though and then shook his head. 

“He’s just upset. He’s had...a rough couple of weeks. Things’ve been bad. For him,” John said awkwardly, grabbing a plate from the counter and unwrapping the husks from four tamales to put on his plate before drowning them in chili since Stiles wasn’t there to get on his back about it. 

“What do you mean?” Derek asked curiously as he took a plate and started to serve himself some food. 

“Did they tell you how they _found_ the nemeton in the first place?” John inquired and when Derek shook his head, he sighed. “Long story short, Scott, Allison, and Stiles acted as a sort of pseudo sacrifice and basically...drowned themselves for a few hours. I’m not clear on the details but whatever they did, they came out of it with knowledge of where the nemeton was. But it came with a price. They all have a sort of darkness surrounding their hearts. They each had an anchor to this side - Stiles had Lydia, Scott had Deaton, and Allison had Isaac. The darkness hasn’t affected Allison and Scott as much as it affected Stiles. They had each other and Isaac to lean on, to distract themselves. Lydia took her responsibility seriously but it was worse for Stiles. Something in his genes. Hallucinations. Bad dreams. Panic attacks. They’re a nightly occurrence.” 

“What kind of...hallucinations? Bad dreams?” 

The sheriff frowned a bit at that and rubbed his neck, side eyeing Derek. “He never wants to talk about it but he mumbles a lot. Mostly about you dying, his mom dying. He thinks if you’d been here or he’d known where you were, that you were alive, they wouldn’t have been so bad. He doesn’t sleep much anymore.” 

It was Derek’s turn to frown and he glanced back towards the door that Stiles had disappeared out of, the sound of the Jeep’s engine long since gone. “Should I go...talk to him?” he asked hesitantly, awkwardly. Derek wasn’t good at talking. 

“Not right now. Give him some space. Let him cool down. You can try tomorrow if you really want to,” John answered with a shrug as he headed into the dining room. 

Derek sighed and then followed him, glad that Cora had saved him a seat beside her with Mila on the other side of him. He sat down and glanced around, everyone stealing glances at him and Mila, wondering, making the connection. They _did_ look alike after all. But Derek was too busy worrying about Stiles and when he ate, his tamales were like cardboard in his mouth. He had never been good at making things right so how could he be expected to do it this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come [tumble](http://santawolf.tumblr.com) with me! :)
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are welcomed. They keep me motivated. Let me know what you think of this, whether it was too OOC and maybe a little of what I could've done better or differently. Mucho appreciated. <3


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